Friday, September 24, 2010

Heidi (Part4)

I turned around and let the screen door close behind me. The doctor and coroner were with Mom. His death was not considered suspicious so the coroner issued the papers and recommended that a funeral home be called to collect him. The phone number of one my mom agreed to was handed to me and I went into the kitchen to place the call. It was quite straight forward. Questions about the coroner's findings and the location of the deceased to be pick up. Done.
I reported back to the bedroom to learn what would be next. The coroner begged his leave. His bill would be in the mail.  Mom talked about my going to my grandpa's to let him know. It was his son that had just passed. I would have to cycle there. Mom would wait for the funeral home hearse to come while I would go to Grandpa. The doctor offered to drive me, a kind gesture under the circumstances. We all headed for the front door. After farewells he led me to his car. What a time to have my first ride in a corvette!! It was short. My grandpa lived with my aunt in a nearby apartment complex.
While climbing the stairs to the third floor I wondered what I would say. Then I knocked. It took several attempts. My aunt opened the door.
"Heidi?"
I just looked at her. She was in a long nightie and had curlers in her hair , planning to look her best for work in the morning I guessed. Then I stepped into their familiar apartment but I felt so torn and lost for words. words that were in my throat but would not come out. I gently hugged her, tears streaming down my cheeks I finally whispered,
" I have bad news."
She seemed to sense the next part and whispered,
 "When did it happen?"
" Just a short while ago. Mom and the doctor tried their best. He didn't respond."
"Thanks for coming now. I'll let Papa sleep 'til morning. It will be very hard on him."
Hard on him? I wondered what she was thinking. It is hard on every one. She continued to whisper asking me to quietly depart so Papa would not be disturbed. I did and with more tears quietly rolling down my cheeks  I made my way back to the corvette.  I thanked the doctor for helping me as he drove. Back at the house I got out while he waited for me to enter it and left. What a gentleman, an Afro-American MD in 1962. How rare.
In the living room I found Mom with my brother whom she had managed to awaken. I wanted my sister join us but Mom requested I leave her alone. Mom felt she should be spared this painful time.
Then the hearse appeared and we watched Dad leave our home.
But not my little sister.
It was around 4:30 am yet sleep was not in us. All sense of timing was gone. Shock and grief had gripped us. We sat in the living room just babbling and sobbing.  But not my little sister.
"Why?"

6 comments:

  1. So heartwrenching. It brings back memories for me of having to deal with some family deaths also. Big hugs xx

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  2. What a kind doctor. You had so many things to try to comprehend at a traumatic time. I don't know how you were able to keep things straight. You must be a strong person. I too am wondering why your sister was not allowed to be part of the goodbye process.

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  3. This makes me feel sad, I could feel the grief and the mourning. But I too, ask at the latter part, why?..Maybe I should read the earlier parts..

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  4. waiting on the Why.
    your post today is the 4th one I have read that is very sad and full of brokeness and grief. the blog world is a way to share your feelings. thanks for sharing

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  5. Oh, this was a hard post for me to read. You understand.

    You write so well, I felt I was with all of you at this sad time. Was your dear little sister still sleeping? Or perhaps in shock? I don't know.
    Bless you and your family

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  6. Oh Heidi, You write this painful story so well.

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