The other day I decided to watch the movie 'The Help' and while it took me back to the very early '60's and discussions I had with my dad about the sad way people of colour were treated in the US, it also brought me to the role I played in helping others with their child rearing.
My parents were the first to get me to understand I play an important role in assisting in caring for the younger siblings. My 20 months younger brother had to be played with a lot. When my sister was born when I was 10, old enough to do a lot more than just play.
A daily event, I was taught how to sterilize bottles on the stove and fill them with boiled cooled water and measured formula to be put in the fridge for later. I was taught to clean cloth diapers and baby clothes made of cotton by placing them in a huge pot of boiling water with added soap. Then these had to be carefully and manually rinsed and hung to dry in our tiny one bedroom apartment. The sterilization had to be done for a period of over six months. This was to ensure the tiny baby would not pick up any harmful germs.
I was shown how to bath her properly and dress her too. She always smelled so nice that I loved this chore that I shared with my mom and dad. And there were the daily walks so that baby would get plenty of fresh air. I would walk beside my mom proudly as she pushed the pram. Sometimes she would take us to the nearby Woolworth's where she would stop for something. The pram and baby remained outside. Often a passerby would look at the sleeping infant and comment on how cute she was. I would beam with pride. Once in a while I was allowed to walk her without my mom's presence. I had to stay close by so I could be seen from the window of our place. Those were precious moments.
But there was a darker side to my help. My parents expected me to get up at night when baby awoke because I was closest to her room, the sunroom next to the living room where my brother and I slept on a pullout couch. It was my duty to let my parents rest for work. We were struggling immigrants in the mid '50's. I did as I was told even though there were tiny moments of resentment during some of those nights when she was hard to settle back to sleep.
I was the help. But there was a huge difference. I was made to feel very proud of what I was doing to contribute to the family well being.
Your post brings back memories of my own, as a teenage babysitter. My charges lived across the street, and each year the brood seemed to grow (from 2 or 3 to six, I think). When in college, I was asked to do a weeklong stint so the parents could have a break. I recall being astonished that the mom could ever get out of the laundry room,there was so much to do just there!
ReplyDeleteYes, you were definitely "The Help" for your parents. Although you had to get up in the middle of the night, you learned many things, not the least of which was to deal with your resentment. Writing about it here shows you did learn a great deal from your childhood tasks. Thanks for sharing this.
ReplyDeleteYour first job taught you life lessons. The pride in your "chores" shows through.
ReplyDeleteThank you so very much for stopping by with words of comfort. They help more than you know.
My parents were not struggling immigrants, but as the oldest child, I had many chores. In my opinion, too many chores, especially since my mother stayed at home all day.
ReplyDeleteI grew up resentful, but eventually forgiving. I too was The Help, but I never woke for the baby. My mom did that part, but when they were older they were my charges more often than I like to remember. There were five of us to begin with us, and later six. I loved the sixth one the best b/c I was a college student by the time she was born and I enjoyed her sweet baby company.
So what did you think of the movie, The Help?
Oh my goodness this brings back memories of my own girlhood. I think I could almost have written this.
ReplyDeleteI was startled at first to read that you left the baby in her pram outside the store, but now I remember we did the exact same thing! Back in those days, it was common practice - there was no fear of somebody stealing the baby.
I did not have to get up at night either. My mom was a stay-at-home mother like those in the 50's. But I learned how to make formula (once my mother stopped nursing) and I remember hanging those cloth diapers in the basement of our home. My mom used to hang them outside in the winter time too. Then bring them in the house to thaw.
I remember the pride when somebody looked into the baby carriage at "my" baby sister. I was nine years old and felt she was my very own baby to play with.
I can imagine your resentment as a young girl. It's only natural, but it sounds like you've learned a lot over your lifetime and have put these old issues to rest.
I recently saw the Help. I found it highly emotional and pretty much started hating Mississippi.
ReplyDeleteA great movie!
I loved the book 'The Help' - so astonishing that people were treated so poorly, although I knew the history. I'm glad you were made to feel like you were contributing, and that you were valued.
ReplyDeleteThis post brought back many memories for me. My sister was born 12 years after I was born. I also had to help. While I didn't have to sterilize bottles because she was nursed by my mother, I did have to do the diaper duty. Diapers were hung outside by my mother while I was at school. When I got home from school, I had to bring in the diapers and fold them and put them away. I also had to tend to her a lot. I loved it most of the time, but I hated the diaper chore.
ReplyDeleteDear Kleinste Motte,
ReplyDeleteWhat DJan said in her comment expresses my response to this posting. I found it so endearing. You learned young how to parent with love. And as DJan said, you learned how to deal with the resentment we sometimes feel.
Peace.
Your post brings back memories. When I was 11, the youngest came along, I had a sister 7 and another brother 3, this youngest one I helped my Mom. I can remember how after she would bath him in the evening, and put on his pj's, lay a large folded quilt into the back of the wagon, I would take him for a walk. This was warmer weather of course. We started out with him sitting up, but after a couple of blocks he would get sleepy and I would carefully lay him down. Then i would take him back home and Mom would carefully put him into his crib for the night.
ReplyDeleteHallo kleinste Motte,
ReplyDeletewollte dir mal schnell ein paar sonnige Frühlingsgrüße schicken!
Leider habe ich nicht alles verstanden, was du in deinem Post geschrieben hast. Meine Englischkenntnisse reichen nicht. ;-(
Liebe Grüße,
Christa
Those were the days. I remember them well. I too was expected to do my part to help around the household. It doesn't seem that children are taught that much these days.
ReplyDelete