Friday, June 28, 2013

Hard Knocks

    As June comes to a close soon all I can say is there's more hardship  for us. The cancer test revealed the colon is completely clear. YAY!!  But there are those newer lumps and bumps all on the left side of me, my limbs and my tummy and my chest, likely tumours that have had a chance to develop over the last five years. The cancer surgery removed the large stage three mass from the colon but that didn't make me cancer clear.
   For me having chemo was not an option at all. The success rate of surviving that with an already weakened immune system just was not for me because I would likely not have been able to survive the secondary infections. I already have a chronic lung and immune deficiency from over exposure to mould while teaching many years in a mould ridden portable classrooms.
   My chosen option using alternative medicine is working reasonably well when I stick to it but being human I did slip up after my daughter married and left for UK. I failed to exercise and eat carefully and stopped drinking some specialty teas and other natural juices. I realized my foolishness in January when all the cancer symptoms reappeared after another bout of pneumonia so I quickly got back to the better routine of healthier foods and lots of activity. Our body needs plenty of oxygen for it to do its job properly and being active makes that possible.
   Buddy had begun to have another flared up skin plaque, likely caused by worry? Anyway on June 16th the two of us found a great deal and booked another trip to a Caribbean resort. We packed hastily for our next day departure. Hubby drove us to the airport. He had opted to remain behind to work on filing client tax returns and other year end stuff due on June 30th. This was to be the second time ever that Buddy and I traveled alone. We were excited.
   Our trip was awesome! We walked a lot, swam a lot , danced too and ate the most vegetarian menu we could put together with only a few pieces of freshly caught fish mixed in. We also rested. All was designed to help us both regain some vigour and smile more. It worked. We were very happy the whole time. We made new friends too. It felt very special. It was a lot of fun too!

   However, we knew from text messages that at home things had taken a nasty turn and that our flight home would lead us to a very sad situation, one we could really not prepare ourselves for. Our eldest daughter picked us up from the airport on June 25th and brought us straight home where we retired right away since it was 4am.
   Later that morning I drove to the ICU at a local hospital where I had to face a very shocking and scary reality that hubby was on a respirator ,  on many IV's and heavily sedated to keep him still. He had suffered a serious brain trauma from a fall onto his head the day after we had left. Apparently it happened in the kitchen where there's marble and ceramic tiles. He hit his head on the side ,likely the countertop and then landed nose down fracturing it. When he gained consciousness much later he found himself in a pool of blood. Scared he managed to find his cell phone and make the ER call.
   When he was first admitted he appeared more surfacely hurt. He had to have stitches and a transfusion for his blood loss from his nose and skull wound. He was mobile and talking from Tuesday until Friday afternoon when all that changed because of some internal bleeding in the brain that had set in and caused some massive behavioural changes along with his ability to breath on his own. It became very erratic. From then on there has been little change in his responsiveness meaning no opening of the eyes, no squeezing a hand to a command, etc.
   Again that same evening I went to him taking along Buddy. He very much needed to see his Dad. The two of us stroked his whiskers that had begun to grow on his face and we softly talked to him. His lack of interacting with us was not important. We love him no matter what condition he's in. That's how it is. Quietly Buddy initiated a circle with the three of us joining hands and us praying for him. It was touching. 
    Since seeing hubby for the first time on the June 25th the only thing that has changed is his pneumonia has improved and a cat scan has revealed that the bleeding inside his brain is way down. 
   Today Buddy brought him his TY Beanie '#1 Dad' . He collected it from hubby's office, a place Buddy also loves to visit, where he has a desk and room of his own and would often spend time drawing or whatever pleased him while his Dad worked. He loved meeting up with the clients and they sure loved him. 
   We had to drop by to pay the employee and figure out what things will need to be attended to in the next little while. It will be a challenge for sure for all of us! Much has changed for us at in such a short time. We are now praying for hubby more than you can imagine.
   The above scene is like one from a movie drama but it is our real life drama. We are having to deal with the fact that a brain trauma has unpredictable outcomes. Here's hoping we can have one of the more positive ones, a complete recovery! 
   Please keep us in your hearts and help us along this road of hard knocks. My cancer seems far less worrisome now that a newer challenge is in front of us. And the amazing part in all of this is of course Buddy and his very touching ways to be of comfort and full of hope.


  1. i am completely speechless. i don't even know what to say or how to say it. i will just say, I am so sorry all of this is happening and i will pray for your husbands recovery. Buddy is a very very special man.... and a blessing to you.
    I do hope your hard knocks will let up soon...

  2. Please know that prayers for your and hubby's recovery are being sent your way. I am so sorry to hear all this, but I am also very glad to hear your recovery is proceeding better than expected. Sending you big virtual hugs, too. Buddy is so sweet! ♡♡♡

  3. Ja, nimmt es denn ne ein Ende?

    I am so very sorry that this new trial has been sent you. As if you didn’t already have more than enough to cope with.

    It is lovely that Buddy is such a help. His sweet nature and kind heart are a great support to you, I’m sure.

    I will pray for you and send healing thoughts your way.

    All the best, dear H. and your entire family.

  4. Dear Heidi, I too am speechless. It is certainly true that life can change in an instant. I'm sorry that you and your husband have to deal with all these challenges. It is touching to read about how Buddy is handling everything. I will keep all of you in my prayers. Big hugs to you.

  5. Dear Heidi, So sorry to hear this. You, hubby, Buddy and daughters will be in our thoughts and prayers. Remember to take care of yourself, we sometimes have a tendency to forget about ourselves when a loved one becomes ill. We just never know what is going to happen from one day to the next.

  6. Dear Heidrun, now I've read your other blog and this one and gotten a more complete story of what has been happening in your life. The three of you are such a blessing to one another and I will pray for all of you. Buddy's gentleness speaks from your words. How you must cherish him. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. Peace.

  7. Dear Heidi, I am so sorry to hear this. One never knows what can and will happen from one day to the next. You, hubby, Buddy and daughters will be in our thoughts and prayers.

    Yes when someone we love becomes unresponsive, we have a tendency to forget about ourselves and try to make them all well again. But you need to take care of yourself also.

    Our neighbor of 50 yeas is going through something similar to what you are going through, except he had a heart attack. He has now been in ICU for three weeks, starting on his fourth week. They almost lost him three different times. They had him on a ventilator, but now they have inserted a trach. A feeding tube and all sorts of tubes and things running into and out of the body. He can't talk because of the trach, but he had been following them with his eyes, she told me today, he's no longer doing that. They also started dialysis, so not sure what else they can do for him. He had five by passes.

    Good luck to your family.
    Love, Patty

  8. My dear Heidi, I am so sorry to hear all of this. Take care of yourself so you can care for your family. My thoughts are with you all.

  9. Oh, Heidi, I am devastated by this news. Sorry doesn't say it.
    I am praying for you and hubby and sending good thought your way. I hope the love we all feel for you will help somehow.

    Love, Lo

  10. Oh my - Heidi - life is full of bumps! How sad that you had to come home and find dear hubby in ICU. After such a happy trip!!

    This has certainly been a hard year for you all. Sending all of you prayers that hubby gets well soon and your cancer banished forever!!

    Buddy is a sweetie and I'm sure his Dad feels his and your love as you talk with him and hold his hand.


  11. Liebe Heidrun,
    wenn ich es richtig verstanden habe, geht es dir wohl besser, aber es ist ein Unglück mit deinem Mann passiert. Ich bin sehr traurig und bestürzt darüber. Es tut mir so sehr leid, was euch alles passiert. Ich denke an dich und nehme dich in den Arm und wünsche deinem Mann baldige gute Genesung.
    Liebe Grüße,

  12. How strange this digital world we live in is. We live thousands of miles apart and we have never met, and yet I was shocked and saddened to read your post and my heart goes out to you and your family. We may not have met, but I know from reading your blog that you are a strong person. Stay strong. We are all thinking of you and wishing you well.

  13. Oh my goodness. I am just now reading this. I do hope things are much, much better. How is your husband doing now? What a scare. You guys take care of yourselves!